30-sai no Hoken Taiiku, episode 10: Your love life. There is no hope.

So, I’m filling in for Sabishii this week, because he has some aspirations to be a good student or something. Somebody needs to get their priority straight. School and good grades gets you nothing. All anime, all the time though? That’s how you become the Virgin King.

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So actually, this was the first time I’ve seen this show. I have no idea what’s going on, besides what Sabishii’s written up. What I did notice is that within the first 3 minutes, they checked off basically every anime girl trope. Twin tails? Check. Maid uniform? Check. Fangs? Check.

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Pink hair? Check. Little hats? Check (By the way, those little hats should be attached to headbands, that’s how they stay on the girls’ heads) Twins? Check. Tsuntsun attitude? Check. Quiet girl? Check. Small breasts? Check. Big breasts? Check. Goth loli outfits? Check.

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Naked maid? Check. Wait. What was this show about again? Mmm… naked maid. *scribbles down note to self* "Suggest naked maid costume for cosplay."

So as far as I can tell, the sex gods have gotten sick, which means the two 30-year old virgins are left to fend for themselves. But of course, things don’t go well between the two, because? Well, they’re both virgins. Which is a euphemism for they’re incompetent social beings.

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But wait? Is Imagawa really a virgin? I mean, he’s been shagging Momoko, the not so virtual wife, for God knows how long. I have to say I’m disappointed in Imagawa’s taste in blow up girls. It’s not just the breast size that matters. How can you get it on with someone with a heart shaped head? It’s as if she was born inside a nuclear reactor. Sure, I know Andou sporting some fierce eyebrows, but come on now, Imagawa! You can do better than Momoko!

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Or then again… maybe not. It takes a special man to love a doll like Momoko.

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Someone like… the Virgin King! For the very first time! Woo!

Seriously, Sabishii, you need to stop studying. Start saving up for that Strike Witches dakimakura and in 15 years, not only will you have had sex an umpteenth amount of time (as long as you regularly wash and take proper care of that dakimakura). You will also command the allegiances of all the virgins beneath you… I suppose there is a bit of an oxymoron in there.

But in the end, the two make up more or less. Or rather, Andou surrenders to Momoko charms and takes heart in the fact that she’s at least human. The lesson she should’ve learned was that, you don’t need to be a dead fish like Momoko in bed! Show Imagawa what he’s been missing!

I know 30-sai is somewhat of a satire/parody, but somewhere out there, there’s otaku who are taking copious notes on this show. I don’t think they’re getting great advice. *scribble scribble* Stand by my inflated woman. Eventually the 3D disgusting pig will either go away or capitulate. And one day we can all have threesomes!

3 Replies to “30-sai no Hoken Taiiku, episode 10: Your love life. There is no hope.”

  1. Haha!
    Well, actually, I would probably be playing some competitive hockey & watching some quality anime if it weren’t for the US’s strict requirements for medical school. It’s not easy to try to be a doc, K? XD. Who knows? Perhaps I’ll pop by and work at a hospital in NJ and hopefully NOT see you 😉

    Strike Witches? Haven’t seen it but it’s already in my collection. I was actually contemplating on getting a Freezing Satellizer el Bridget dakimura around May, but I wasn’t able to since the preorder was sold out EVERYWHERE. To be honest, the only dakimura that kinda catches my eye would be the Super Sonico one. The arms are such a smart idea! Oh and, where do you put it in for a dakimura? I thought they weren’t blowup dolls (^^)

    Ah jeez RP, you can’t be taking ANY advice from this show. Not unless you are actually meeting desperate 30 year old females. The advice they give are actually contradictory to what you’re supposed to be doing, other than a 3 month gap between asking someone out again.

    Oh, and I’ll never be a Virgin King. BAM.

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