And so ends the season of The Melancholy of Haruhi-chan and Nyoron Churuya-san, fading away with none of the fanfare that the ONAs were initially greeted with (nice boat anyone?). I never intended to write about the short series, but since I’m a Haru-tard, I was probably fated to do so.

It wasn’t the second season that we were all waiting for. And in fact, once we got past the Kadokawa trolling, it seemed like everyone forget about Haruhi-chan and Churuya. At least, there wasn’t much buzz about it. Which is probably to be expected since they were mediocre and pretty forgettable, if not for the fact that they took advantage of the unstoppable Haruhi-hype machine. But with the ONAs having ended, and the Haruhi troll machine starting back up again, I figured it’d be nice to take a quick look back.

Nyoron Churuya-san

For some strange reason, I really like the 4koma strips of Churuya-san. It’s just so simple and bizarre, it’s hard to resist. But in a 13 episode format? Eh, not so much. Even though the whole series probably lasted only 20 minutes, it felt like they ran out of jokes at about the 5 minute mark. Which is admirable in some respects, since you could probably cover a 4koma strip in 15 seconds. But after a while, Churuya became the guest who stayed their welcome way too long. You just want to kick them out, but they keep going for the damn smoked cheese. And when you combine the unfunny jokes with miserable art direction, you end up with Nyoron Churuya-san: the Tragedy.

The Melancholy of Haruhi-chan

It was clear that the producers had no idea what the hell they were doing with Haruhi-chan at the beginning of the season, what with the nonsensical first episode and the randomly scheduled release of links. I guess they intended Haruhi-chan to be similar to JC Staff’s –tan versions of Shana and Index, focusing on short, sketch humor. But as the season went on, they began adopting more cohesive storylines to the point where they put out a 8 minute episode for the finale. This was a change for the better, because the show wasn’t working when it was in crazy, fun time, variety show mode.

While the show wasn’t that memorable, I do give it credit for giving us three things:

1. Cute, chibi art.
2. Otaku Nagato.
3. ACHAKURA and Kimidori.

Cute, chibi art

Haruhi’s permanently rosy cheeks, Nagato’s rabbit headphones, Mikuru’s bug eyes, Koizumi’s perma-sparkle, ACHAKURA’s adorableness – it wasn’t your usual Haruhi, but I really liked the art direction, character models and bright color pallettes. And the art got better as the season went on.

Otaku Nagato

It’s been a while, so I’d almost forgotten, but Otaku Nagato carried the show in the beginning. Of all the ways they twisted the characters, they hit a homerun with the eroge-addicted Nagato.

ACHAKURA and Kimidori

But the best character twist of all was the death of Asakura and the birth of ACHAKURA (as well as the reimagination of Emiri Kimidori). Both fairly forgettable characters in the first season of Haruhi, their bizarro version antics were what I ended up liking most about Haruhi-chan. If there’s anything I’ve learned from Haruhi-chan, it’s that Nagato, ACHAKURA and Kimidori deserve a spin-off of their own.

Good-bye Haruhi-chan, we hardly knew ya. Please return with more Nagato, ACHAKURA and Kimidori! And don’t forget about the real season 2!

Sorry, I’m late with this because I’ve rediscovered what a time sink Civ IV is. It’s ridiculous how quickly the hours fly by when you turn off the stupid Space Race. Also, no links because they’re just going to go dead anyway. I swear YouTube hyperlinks are the walking dead.

Nyoron Churuya-san #13

Between the Kyon-ASAHAKURA-Churuya threesome and Churuya’s cult of the smoked cheese dream, I swear the Churuya-sans are getting weirder and weirder. I’ve read rumors that this was the last Churuya-san (and Haruhi-chan as well) – but this could be a big load of bollocks and I guess we’ll see when Friday rolls around. Otherwise, I don’t have much to say about this week’s Churuya-san. Let’s just say it wasn’t one of my favorites.

Melancholy of Haruhi-chan #25

Unfortunately, no ACHAKURA or Kimidori this week (unless you want to count their original forms), but Kadokawa makes up for it with an extra long Haruhi-chan. This week we get the answer to the age old question: what if Haruhi Suzumiya were a visual novel? Well, it’d sell millions. It’d probably be crazy entertaining to play. Then there would be a KyoAni adaptation (it’s funny how everything comes full circle) which everyone would be raving about – except me – because I’d be bitching about it because someone’s always crying or dying or getting rained on every week. What’s up with that? Although I have to admit seeing Haruhi cry is sort of cute. However, I caveat all that by admitting that if the show had crazy yandere endings, I’d probably be hooked and raving about it. I can see it now: Haruhi Suzumiya no naku Koro ni. Now that’s a winning combo!

Haruhi-chan ONA 23, ONA 24 and Churuya-san 12.

I didn’t realize ONAs got their own OPs too. But this is Haruhi, so Kadokawa must realize that anything remotely Haruhi-related is merchadisable. It’s called Ima Made no Arasuji and features the whole cast. It’s ah… probably what you’d expect to hear from Haruhi-chan, hectic and pretty random. It’s amusing, but not something I’d listen to regularly.

Churuya-san 12

Geez, even Shamisen is bagging on Churuya. And he was such a nice kitten. Alright, I’ll be very blunt. Churuya sucked this week. I mean, it’s never going to be award-winning, but all the gags were pretty lame, and while I always appreciate a ASAHAKURA appearance, even the punchline in her skit was pretty flat.

Haruhi-chan 23

Haruhi-chan’s back – as Oprah, and her first guess is they very naggy Kyon, who immediately finds fault with everything Haruhi’s doing. Unfortunately for him, when he’s not torturing Churuya-san, he realizes he doesn’t have anything worthwhile to say about himself. Luckily for the crew, Koizumi comes in with some nifty scenario planning to save the day. I’m looking forward to more aliens and espers in future episodes. All in all, it was a fairly amusing episode, but again, I got the sense that they’re being lazy with their jokes. For example, the whole cut to Mikuru-chan scenes left something to be desired.

Haruhi-chan 24

Meanwhile, I’m always happy to see more of ACHAKURA. And no offense to the OG AA+ Asakura, but I like this version of her the best… even if she does have sort of creepy tentacle feet or whatever those little nubs are. It’s clear to me that the writers – after some experimentation – have struck upon an unlikely but golden tag team duo in ACHAKURA and Kimidori. I loved the forced drama Kimidori sacrifice scene. These two kids crack me up.

You know the drill: Churuya 11 subbed. Haruhi 21 subbed. Haruhi 22 subbed.

Nyoron Churuya #11

Whoa, a whole episode without one of the standard Churuya nyoron jokes. Fine by me, because I like the ASAHAKURA – Churuya – Kyon love triangle of failure anyway. Watching this, I couldn’t help but wonder how Churuya and ASAHAKURA were able to hold pencils and write without thumbs. And is Churuya tauting ASAHAKURA when she calls her Assyacchi? Or was that just a translation gone horribly wrong? At the end of the day, Kyon ends up with Churuya and ASAHAKURA gets left out in the dust. I guess it’s only fair that if Churuya can’t get her smoked cheese then ASAHAKURA isn’t going to get any Kyon smooches.

Haruhi-chan #21

One of the more bizarre webisodes of Haruhi-chan – which is saying a lot – simply because there was some semblance of a nonsensical plot. The gang all go to I guess what is a sentai stage show, starring Arakawa and Meido Mori, to satisfy Nagato’s raging otaku needs, and Churuya I mean Tsuruya finds herself in a mano-a-mano showdown with Mori. They’ve been building to the Mori-Tsuruya duel for a few episodes now. Of course, I don’t know why they’ve been building to this duel, or why the two ended up fighting, but this is the Internet – things don’t need to make sense.

Action-fighter Tsuruya was pretty cool to see, but Mori was even better. She’d give Sayoko a run for her money. I did get a chuckle out of Haruhi, of all people, having to restrain Nagato from acting too crazy. And you could see it coming a mile away, but Kyon and Koizumi’s last puzzle piece destruction was pretty funny.

I feel a little silly asking for plot clarification, but I wouldn’t mind knowing why Tsuruya felt compelled to challenge Mori. Otherwise, I’d rather KyoAni keep their drama out of the Haruhi-chan skits.

Haruhi-chan #22

ACHAKURA didn’t bring a whole bucket of laughs this week, but she replaced with a higher than recommended daily dosage of cuteness. While she’s been quite domesticated by her chibication, she’s also brought Nagato back from the land of otakus and helped Kimidori become a helpful part of the household. Seriously, now that she even does household chores, I really need to find where I can get my own chibi ACHAKURA.

Follow the links:

Nyoron Churuya-san #10 subbed.

Haruhi-chan #19 subbed.

Haruhi-chan #20 subbed.

Nyoron Churuya-san #10

The occasional bits where Churuya is relishing a rainbow, or encouraging a lonely leaf feel really awkward in between all the other gags. I guess it’s meant to show Churuya’s indomitable spirit, but it’s too sentimental and feels out of place. On the other hand, I do really enjoy the ASAHAKURA gags. Her pursuit of evil-Kyon has probably been the most amusing part of the Churuya skits. I also love the ambitious chibi dust ball. If only dust were that cute in real life…

Haruhi-chan #19

Haruhi plans to capture Santa by using Kyon as a trap, while the rest of the SOS-dan party dangerously.

This was the longest Haruhi-chan skit of the season. It also had the most sensible and involved “plot” as well. Seems like the writers put a little extra time in coming up with this story. My favorite part of the skit was when Haruhi bursts into the room having heard screams, she sees Santa, and the blush in her cheek, flushes to the front of her face, while her hair starts to jump in excitement. It’s a really endearing scene which is I think right up her alley.

Otherwise, I also liked the random pieces of continuity, like Kyon’s Halloween costume and Taniguchi trying to get rid of the kappa. I don’t know why, but I’m a geek for unexpected continuity.

Haruhi-chan #20

We can argue about whether Nagato or ACHAKURA is the real star of the Haruhi-chan ONAs, but you’ll find me in the ACHAKURA corner. I get the sense that ACHAKURA’s seiyuu, Natsuko Kuwatani is just having a blast, going off-the-wall, voicing ACHAKURA, which makes me adore her character even more.

Also, they got me again with the continuity nod to Kimidori. I sure didn’t expect that talking balloon animal to become a recurring character. But I like the cut of his jib.

If you haven’t seen them yet, here are the links for Nyoron Churuya-san subbed, Haruhi 17 subbed, and Haruhi 18 subbed.

Nyoron Churuya-san #9

It’s sports festival day and well… you can pretty much guess how sports is going to work out for a 2 foot tall chibi girl with no opposable thumbs. Not well.

I think the best part was the 3-legged race, I knew what was going to happen, but I loved how they animated the sequence where Churuya is stumbling and fumbling for dear life. Otherwise, Churuya was pretty cute running under hurdles, pulling for smoked cheese, amongst other things. It was one of the better Churuya-san ONAs, although unfortunately no ACHAKURA.

Haruhi-Chan #17 and 18

Man, what was up with the opening scene with Churuya and Mikuru-chan? That was just totally random.

No ASAHAKURA this week in either of the Haruhi ONAs, but that’s alright. She’s had plenty of screen time lately.

Haruhi-chan 17 and 18 were connected this week. In Haruhi-chan 17, Haruhi’s admiration of sakura leaves leads to a chain of thoughts that ends up with Haruhi and the gang watching the splendor of the sakura trees, while Kyon’s digging a hole to bury God knows what. Meanwhile, Churuya-san seems to be powering up for some sort of showdown – perhaps the one hinted at back in ONA #12 versus Mori-san? But in the meanwhile, she has just the right place for Haruhi to go for the Sakura-viewing/hole digging.

Meanwhile, in Haruhi-chan 18, we see the actual hole digging. Luckily for Kyon, Itsuki’s got a plan that involves Mori-san playing the role of a meteor and leaving a nice crater in the ground for Kyon to claim credit for.

Need MOAR non-chibi Mori-san. Maybe it’s the red jumpsuit talking, but I never realized she looked so stunning.

As usual, the ONAs were cute and pretty amusing. I laughed at Kyon taking the credit at the end, and I liked that Koizumi showed up in sparkles in both episodes. LOL at his state of undress at the end of #18. A nod towards Hosaka perhaps? (Daisuke Ono voices both characters.)

Interestingly, they showed the characters in non-Chibi form quite a bit during these two ONAs. Maybe they’re trying to get into the swing of things for the eventual non-chibi Haruhi 2? Hmm… Nah.

Another thing I found interesting is, they’ve hinted at Churuya’s… “privileged” background moreso during these ONAs than they did during the real Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, although I wouldn’t exactly consider these episodes canonical.

I have been quite inconsistent about offering links to the videos, but this week you’re in luck. Churuya-san #8 subbed. Haruhi-chan #15 subbed. And Haruhi-chan #16 subbed.

Nyoron Churuya-san #8

It’s beach episode time, and Churuya’s sporting a classy two-piece, learning that there’s no smoked cheese on the beach and about the intricacies of casting a line to catch fish. Meanwhile, ASAHAKURA gets risqué with Kyon, asking him to make a choice between eating lunch or her. ~Mrowr~ Unfortunately for her, Kyon chooses the lunch. And finally Churuya finally gets what she’s been waiting for all this time. Das smoked cheese. What’s next? Probably world domination. As the saying goes, “first you get da smoked cheese, den you get da women, den you get da powah.”

I wonder about this every week, so I’ll wonder about it again. Since Churuya has gotten her precious, I wonder if this is the swan song for Churuya-san.

Haruhi-chan #15

I want an ACHAKURA NOW!!! I love how she gets so giddy and easily entertained by the smallest of things. I mean sure, the balloon eventually turned into a talking dog, but ACHAKURA would’ve been happy enough playing with that one bouncing balloon. She’s like a more affectionate version of a cat – and just as fun to torture, and a cleaner, lower-maintenance version of a dog. Plus, she comes with assassin abilities. She’s the perfect pet. Someone needs to clone her now.

Otherwise, it seems Nagato seems to have not heard of the Hindenburg. Quite a shocking lapse in knowledge. But I guess that’s what becoming an eroge otaku will do to you. New knowledge pushes out the old.

Haruhi-chan #16

Cooking with Haruhi. This is a Wii game in the making. I just know it. I mean, it’s gotta score better than that Iron Chef game, right? And it’s Haruhi. KADOKAWA hasn’t milked it to death enough yet. Ah, the Wii, last bastion of all crapware.

Anyway, Cooking with Haruhi is actually a brilliant concept. Quick, simple health cooking with Haruhi. I have no interest in any of the hundreds of other cooking shows on the air, but I would follow a Haruhi cooking show to the ends of the earth. Or Kitchen. I can’t imagine what ramen noodles would look like after 50 hours of cooking. I’d guess that they’d disintegrate after the first hour or so. But I guess we’ll never know, because dojikko maid Mikuru, just can’t seem to stay on her feet.

The best part of the episode was when Kyon was pointing the sword at Koizumi with murderous intent. There was something about Koizumi’s facial expression that cracked me up. Maybe it’s because this is one of the rare moments you see Koizumi ever break a sweat.

Another week, another handful of webisodes of Haruhi-chan and Nyoron Churuy-san. Wait- have I said this before? Regardless, I’m glad they seem to have found a schedule to stick to.

Nyoron Churuya-san #7

What did I say last week? Man, Kyon’s a dick. Only not in such unflattering terms. As far as Churuya webisodes go, this was as random as I’ve seen so far. I know there’s a classic video game geek out there who loved this webisode because of the gaming references (was it mostly Legend of Zelda? Or a more random, obscure game?). I didn’t particularly find it to be that interesting though. However, the overall lesson is Kyon is a dick. Not only is a actively preventing Churuya from obtaining any smoked cheese happiness, he’s being a dick to ASAHAKURA too. Plus, he always looks so pissed off. Clearly, the fame has gone to his head, and he’s not happy starring in this low-budget affair.

Haruhi-chan #13

It’s Halloween and Haruhi’s not only making offerings to new Gods, she’s creating them herself. (If a God creates another God, does that create some sort of infinite loop of creation?) Meanwhile, Nagato’s making Jack-o-lanterning a complete nightmare for Mikuru-chan, who can’t quite seem to get the measurements perfectly. I gather that she finally got the damn thing to be symmetric… at the cost of some artistic flair. But I guess that’s the price you pay when you let math trump design. Later, ACHAKURA and Nagato share a moment, as they go out shopping and ACHAKURA makes dinner for the two. For a second, when ACHAKURA was tossing the vegetables into the boiling pot, I thought Nagato was going to toss ACHAKURA in along with them. But that’d probably leave a mark, and otaku Nagato, probably didn’t want to get her living nendoroid all nicked up.

Haruhi-chan #14

Haruhi’s having fun with blowguns. I genuinely chuckled when she tossed the balloon at Kyon and then popped it right in front of his face. I’ve got to try that some time. It turns out Kyon’s no pansy as he strikes back at Haruhi with a new take no prisoner attitude. But when Mikuru-chan gets killed in the crossfire, the two decide to resolve their differences in a different, more peaceful manner – by crucifying Mikuru-chan and then decorating her with balloons. I can’t say I quite understood what the rules of the battle were, but I did notice the strategically placed balloons in Mikuru-chan’s bikini zones. I’m going to guess that the subsequent mass blowgun attack was a traumatic experience.

All in all, the Haruhi-chan’s were not bad. Not really laugh-out-loud funny, but generally amusing. On the other hand, I really think they’re out of ideas for Churuya-san. If they want to keep the smoked-cheese shtick going, they should take a look at the history of Trix commercials. I’m sure there are ideas they could nick from those.

The HQ versions are back if anyone’s interested. Otherwise, it was your Haruhi-chan and Churuya-san antics as usual.

Nyoron Churuya-san #6

Man, Kyon is such a jerk, always crushing the dreams and mocking the eternal optimism of chibi Churuya. I missed ASAHAKURA, because otherwise, the little skits just consisted of Kyon or fate screwing Churuya over. Nothing new here to see. Nyoro~n. I did like the teru teru bozu skit at the end though, it was similar to the rainbow skit that closed the last webcast of Churuya-san. It’s good to know that despite whatever happens, Churuya will not allow her eternal optimism to be crushed by jackass Kyon.

Haruhi-Chan #11

What the heck is Nagato holding in that picture up there? A chocolate dookie? A choco-dong? Either way it looks gross.

The kids are in town and Nagato’s gotta hide chibi ACHAKURA. Can’t let Haruhi get any crazy ideas. Valentine’s Day is around the corner and Haruhi wants to make chocolates for the guys. I wonder if the plot was loosely inspired by one of the stories in the light novels (the exact book escapes me right now, but the one where they go up the mountains to do a dig). Once they make their chocolates and everyone leaves, Yuki lets ACHAKURA out of the box. Or rather, she lets her pop out of the box, buoyed by some springs underneath her. I’d like a ACHAKURA in a box please. The merchandising possibilities of this show are limitless.

Haruhi-Chan #12

Whoa. Continuation and a possible dramatic twist? Hmm.

It’s time for Haruhi to give the chocos to Kyon and Itsuki, but as usual there’s a catch. Kyon and Itsuki are going to have to earn those chocolates. Itsuki decides that they could use some backup, and invites Mr. Arakawa and Sonou to provide some assistance. How are they going to earn these chocos? By becoming dashing, take your breath away male hosts. They’ve got the look down, they’ve got the attitude. Just one thing they didn’t plan for: Mikuru’s completely random, cute and funny “miiiii” cry of despair. I guess she’s not a fan of bishonens. This is a rare case of Itsuki’s intuition dropping the ball. Later, sinister things are in the air, as Sonou passes by Churuya arousing her suspicions. The heat is on.

Kadokawa, pumping out the Haruhi-chan and Churuya-san webcasts again. I know they’re not putting a lot of effort into the production values, and I am very grateful that they release subbed versions with the original Japanese language versions, but I do wish they’d take just a little bit of effort to make sure everything’s up to snuff. I noticed at least 2-3 blatant typos in the first Haruhi-chan ep (“soup operas” comes to mind), which could’ve easily been caught if someone had spent 15 minutes QA-ing it. It’s not a big deal, but it doesn’t exactly scream “professionalism.”

Nyoron Churuya-san #5

Damn, now even Nagato’s pissed. So, if you’ve seen the first 4 Churuya-san webcasts, you’ll probably figure out what happens here. Churuya says something, other person either ignores her or disses and then it’s “nyoron” time. Nothing new or really special here. The ASAHAKARA short I did like a lot though. Maybe it’s her super moe loli voice, maybe it’s because of the inherent ridiculousness of a smurf-height chibi character looking for love in all the wrong places, but I haven’t gotten tired of her chasing  and getting rejected by Kyon yet.

Haruhi-Chan #9

It’s story telling time. Following the time honored tradition of taking a bunch of different ideas and tossing them into a pot to see what comes out of it. There were shades of The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina here, but it wasn’t nearly as amusing. Like not even in the same universe. Seeing Kyon and Itsuki react to being in maid costumes was pretty funny, but otherwise, I didn’t think this was very good. And again, Haruhi is stealing a bit too much from Konata, in both voice and personality.

Haruhi-Chan #10

Both chibi versions of Ryoko Asakuras have been wins in my book. To be honest, OG Ryoko was not that interesting. I do get a kick of ASAHAKURA and the Haruhi-chan version ACHAKURA. This quick short dealt with ACHAKURA’s vertically-challenged struggles and her almost triumphant story of how she overcame them to kill Kyon… until she runs into the cat from episode four. That damn cat. It’s always the cats bringing the chibi-chans down.

If they ever release a nendoroid based on the megas kawaii first picture of ACHAKURA above, I’m totally getting it. Speaking of which, I’m really jonesing for the MikkuMiku Kagami nendoroid, but damn they’re expensive! My love apparently has monetary boundaries and it’s cheaper than I thought. But $40-50+ for a chibi figure? Seriously? I know the serious collectors will pay any price, but I’m thinking maybe they could do some price modeling, because I have to believe there’s a better sweet spot between price and profit.