Maria+Holic had a lot going for it. A zany premise, excellent character designs, a maid to kill for, a ridiculously attractive trap, an ecchi yuri lead to tie it together, and SHAFT/Shinbo to give it that touch of zaniness that only they can do. All the pieces were in place for an all-time epic comedy.

Did they deliver?

Sort of. I definitely enjoyed the show through and through, but I thought they missed some opportunities by making this more Kanako’s show versus Mariya’s show.

The good:

• The characters were great. Attractive, a little bit weird, but always interesting. The top spots go to my three stars:
  1. Mariya. She’s beautiful, devious, sadistic, but with a little soft spot for those she cares for. And dammit, I keep referring to her using feminine pronouns. This is the true mark of a trap.
  2. Matsurika, the greatest maid ever! Before, I would’ve given top maid honors to CG’s Sayoko, but Matsurika takes the cake. Behind her oh so cute looks, lies a sharp tongued, sadistic nature that rivals even Mariya’s. Plus, Mats will tell it like it is, even to her master. Brutally honest girls make me all dere dere.
  3. Kanako. Always in character, always on the prowl, potential harem leaders can learn from her persistence, if not her anemia. But whether it’s cosplay angel time, or loliko swimsuit time, Kanako always keeps her eye on the ball.
• The music. From the real OP/ED to the made up songs, they were all hilariously quirky. The oft-kilt, but strangely artistic OP was probably my favorite OP of the season. The 8-bit video game-esque ED was probably my 2nd favorite ED (behind Trust You). And then you had some great songs during the show, best exemplified by Kanako’s cosplay angel song… which edges out Hosaka’s Curry Yousei song for the best random character song of the season.
• The randomness. SHAFT had been hit or miss for me, so I wasn’t sure what to expect from this show. But I think without SHAFT occasional fits of complete randomness, Maria+Holic wouldn’t have been half as interesting as it was. At its heart, it’s probably the most straightforward, by the numbers comedy I’ve seen SHAFT take on. But like I mentioned earlier, SHAFT was able to provide that little touch of zaniness that provided just the right amount of spiciness for the show.
• Drama free! While, I wouldn’t have minded more Mariya development, I’m glad SHAFT decided not to go the 10 episodes of comedy, 2 episodes of forced, unnecessary drama route. Kudos to them. There’s nothing worse when the ecchi, fanservice comedy you’ve been watching suddenly inexplicably turns into a freaking Kurosawa drama – Asu no Yoichi, I’m looking at you)
• Shizu! What brilliance to allow us to revel in the beauty of Mariya, without having to worry about the unpleasant “side effects” of traphood.

The bad:

• Not enough Mariya. Too much Kanako. Unfortunately, like I mentioned above, Mariya should’ve been the star of the show. She’s dynamic, unpredictable and always finds a way to be interesting. Meanwhile, Kanako is always in character. That’s both good and bad. It’s good, because you can count on her to deliver the scenes and reactions that you want to see. It’s bad, because she’s a fairly one-dimensional character. I mean, there’s only so many nosebleed jokes I can tolerate. Which brings me to…
• Beating a dead horse. I get it. Kanako needs some noseplugs. If there’s a second season – which I hope there is – the writers need to find a new horse to beat on. Because by the end of the show, Kanako was engulfing the whole world in nose blood. I’m pretty certain she’s tapped her reservoir of nose blood dry for at least several future seasons.

The future?

Overall though, it was a fun ride. It didn’t turn out to be the classic I’d hoped for, but there wasn’t a single episode where I didn’t find one thing or another to be amusing. If there’s a second season in the works, bring it on, I say. I just hope the writers recognize that this is Maria+Holic, not Kanako+Holic, although a spinoff Matsurika+Holic would be even more welcome.

So what’s the best way to end a show starring a nosebleeding, perverted yuri who enters an all-girl school to find the yuri love of her life (and ogle a school full of delicious Betties while she’s at it), and ends up rooming with the most beautiful girl on campus – except that she’s actually a he – and her equally beautiful and irresistible maid, with masochistic tendencies? A pool-centric episode? Every character in a bikini or swimsuit? A wardrobe malfunction? Yes, yes, and yes!

Things start out oh so well for Kanako. She’s doing her homework. Preparing herself for the pool opening. Making sure she’s prepared against excess blood loss. Eating her raw liver. And everything seems to turn up Kanako!

• Fully developed teachers, in their physical prime with new swimsuits? Check.
• School rules promoting non-school swimsuit? Check.
• New phys-ed teacher with an androgynous haircut, but with a va-va-voom feminine body? Check.
• Unnecessary CPR? Check.
• Mouth to mouth? Check.
• Everyone wanting a piece of Kanako’s lips? Check.
• Reality check? Ch- oh crap.

Turns out liver is not meant to be eaten raw. And Kanako’s paid the price. Her delusions merely teases, as she misses almost the whole swim session. But luckily she recovers in time, before the pool closes.

Oh then the Tchaikovsky Priest visits and gives her hives.

But she recovers in time right?

Yeah, just in time for the mountain product hate group to poison her with delicious mountain foods.

B-b-but she recovers from that in time for the swim season right? Right?

I’m happy to say, yes. Yes, she does. And things are looking Kanako… until she sins and is smited by God.

Son of a…

But fret not. Because fate intervenes on Kanako’s behalf. And although swim class is over. Turns out there’s a swim meet (!) for Kanako to get her rocks off. Kanako knows that swim meets are prime events for “unexpected” wardrobe malfunctions, fufufu~.

However, Kanako’s trials and tribulations are not at an end. As she’s subject to an overnight session of personality reprogramming. I think the “school swimsuit sucks, loincloth rocks!” chant was the most random and funniest part of the episode.

Having her lifelong joy ruined by Mariya’s antics, Kanako’s blood boils and she plots revenge against her. But who could dare plot such devious revenge against such a pure, innocent, cute face? I mean look at her!?

One desperate yuri, that’s who.

Planning to expose Mariya’s sham, Kanako gets more than she bargains for. Say hello to exhibit B. 100% natural. 100% beautiful. 100% not Mariya. It’s funny that Shizu’s first instinct is to scream, drawing attention to herself, rather than quickly and secretly re-cloth herself.

In the end, Kanako got what she wanted. And I got what I wanted. It was a pretty straightforward episode, albeit with the typical SHAFT touch, giving it that little special, demented shine. They stayed true to the core of the show, keeping it light and breezy. And also kept out the inevitable forced drama that seems to pervade every other comedy in its final episodes

Final thoughts on the show to follow…

Woohoo for ggcaust continuing to sub the show. I think I read that it’s most of the gg TL team continuing, so you got the same style and quality. Slightly later release date, but that’s a tradeoff I can live with.

On the plus side, there was a lot more Mariya in this ep. I’m sorta bored with all the Kanako nosebleed stuff, but I can’t get enough of Mariya’s manipulativeness.

Some men were not cut for the cloth. Like this man who apparently survived 27 years without any lovin’ proceeds to then fall in love with three different girls (well, one tranny) over a 20-minute period. Ah well, who can blame the guy. At least he’s not going for shotas, right? Right?

I love how Mariya instantly recognizes that the priest has got the hots for him, and calls him a perv. I’m a fan of ironic humor. I really liked the little Mariya silhouette scene too, where she was pirouetting over the visage of pieces of scenery. The priest, meanwhile, has an annoying habit of overthinking everything to the nth degree. It’s like the writers read Baka-Raptor’s post on bs punchline reinforcement and decided to go nuts with it just for the hell of it. He overhears a comment by Matsurika and then goes batshit crazy wondering what it could possibly mean, only to conclude that Matsurika likes him and that he loves her… Hey there,  back off my Matsurika man.

However, when he’s not falling in love with all the girls at Ame no Kisaki, he shows his concern for Kanako. Not because she’s a tall, well-endowed yuri, but because she’s a terrible student, has a nasty habit of bleeding to death and seems to be allergic to him. So Father Toichirou asks Mariya about Kanako’s situation and learns that Kanako’s struggling, because he looks like her brother… who died of Tchaikovsy syndrome… in B minor. Father T’s reaction to the B minor part was classic. The next morning, he confronts Kanako head-on, and nearly causes her to explode from hives. Aww, she’s such a weak little kitten. nyah.

Feeling guilty about the whole incident, Father T tracks down Kanako back to her dorm, and asks God to let him in to see her. This, of course, is against the rules. However, exceptions could be made. Poor God has been watching TV on a CRT screen. An upgrade would be nice. Although I personally would’ve recommended that she go for an LCD rather than a plasma. The priest, because he’s a caring fella (who apparently makes a lot of money too), obliges and gets her the bribe offering. That buys him 3 minutes of time with Kanako. Wait a second… 3 minutes!?

Of course, he could secure 96 more minutes with a small token offering of a DVD player. If a 50” plasma costs $1500, and buys him 3 minutes, that comes out to $500/minute. But with this latest offer, he has the opportunity to secure 96 more minutes for a DVD player that probably costs about $30. That’s only $3/minute! You’d have to be a fool to not take advantage of that deal. And Father T is no fool, as he gladly makes the offering. I know they didn’t show the calculations, but I’m sure that’s what went on in his overactive mind.

This was a great scene between the two of them. I think I’ve mentioned it before, but I love how Miyuki Sawashiro voices God. If I could ever describe someone sounding perfectly soullessly moe, God is it.

Having entered the promised land (although to find Mariya not in a negligee. Damn.), his overactive mind goes back into overdrive. He gets nowhere with Kanako or Mariya or Matsurika, gets double-crossed by God, and tossed out of the dorms into the rain. But as they say when God closes one door, she opens another. Or rather in this case, God closes a door, only to have another blond angel to open it. Someone sign me up for heaven, or at least Ame no Kisaki, blond angels seem to be everywhere (beware of traps though).

One more episode to go!

GG is apparently taking a break for a while. As a thank you gift, they’ve left us with two versions of the latest episode of Maria+Holic. One in which Mariya plays a reverse trap 50-year old genius doctor with a vicodin addiction, and another in which Mariya is the moe, fanservice-friendly trap that we can’t deny our love for. If you’re interested in the moe, fanservice-friendly trap version, check here.

The cosplay party has come and gone without a hitch. That is, if you consider Kanako’s blood geyser, Ayari busting her blouse and Yonakuni riding the lead float to be “just as planned.” Now exam scores are in. Which means the fun ends here, because Kanako’s a self-proclaimed idiot, who ends up flunking nearly all her classes, except for Civics (and Chemistry) to Mariya’s shock and dismay. Also on the side of shocking is Kiri’s utter fail at math and science. I’ll be the first to admit that I totally bought into all meganekos being good students. Luckily for the two of them, Momoi’s willing to share her idiot-friendly notes, which Yuzuru happily mentions in between tossing some salt onto bakayaro Kanako’s wounds. Apparently, she’s still pissed about the pass Kanako made at Momoi last episode.

However, the big news is that the Matsurika flag has been raised! Not only that, she’s feeling rebellious. To have this flag raised, ten episodes in is a stunning and critical turn of events. Everything you knew about Kanako’s harem/non-harem is now up in the air, as the new 800-pound gorilla in the room has tossed her bonnet into the ring. It would be as if the Celtics decided to leave the NBA and enter the March Madness tourney. North Carolina? UConn? Louisville? Who’s the one seed? Who cares? It’s hopeless. They’re all just Celtic mincemeat. The only true stunner that would prevent a Matsurika blowout would be if Mariya’s flag were ever raised (and Kanako’s allergies were umm, un-raised). While we’re talking seeds and rankings, Momoi has taken a late-season run that has raised her to #2 seed in my book. Who could resist a loli angel? Even though I don’t think she’s very loli. If Matsurika ever falls out of the running or reveals herself as a trap too, in Momoi we trust.

Also of note. Matsurika’s first name is Shinouji. I’m filing that under mental notes for all things Matsurika.

Matsurika’s rebelliousness takes her a little too far in her newfound desire to help Kanako and win her love, and she ends up reprogramming Kanako’s personality as a result. In the end, it’s all good though. Kanako reverts to form after much apologies and ends up passing the supplementary exam… Although no word on Kiri. But she’s a meganeko, and meganekos never fail, so there.

You know how God is a loli? Well, apparently there was a time when she was even more loli-looking. And apparently, quite popular with the boys as well. I liked this little sidebar memory of hers, it showed a side of her we haven’t seen so far. I wouldn’t mind if they delved into her pre-dorm leader days at some point.

In the second part of the episode, Kiri-shan’s got an admirer. And to Kanako’s-ire, it’s not a lady admirer either. The non-yuri humor was a nice changeup. I think Ame no Kisaki could use some guys to shake things up. Like if Shizu were to come visit and make like Casanova. Kiri-shan’s admirer’s persistency was pretty amusing, and inventive at that. This whole event may be a rude awakening for Kanako. Time is short. Opportunity only knocks once. Hopefully, she’s watched Macross Frontier and learned not to be indecisive like Alto, else she ends up with none of the girls. Then again, she did raise the Matsurika flag, but with only two episodes left – time is running out to make a move. Luckily for her, and Kiri-shan too, helpful Matsurika devises a plan that successfully disposes of the persistent admirer. It’s telling to see that Matsurika is so confident in her Kanako ending, that she’s willing to help out the competition. That’s my Matsurika.

…and in the water, and on the walls, and on the ground, and ALL OVER the Virgin Mary Statue. Good God, what have we done?

In case you were worried (I’m sure you weren’t), Yonakuni is alive and well. While he did happen to stumble across one of Ame no Kisaki’s mysteries, this one has more to do with a closet full of items with tragic histories than any soul sucking demons. Does anyone know what all those items are? Virtual boy and Dreamcast are easy to figure out. And I guess that’s the Nintendo Power Glove, although I don’t remember it ever being green. What are the other two? Is that little egg shaped thing a tamagotchi? I have no clue what the black console is. 3DO?

For a SHAFT/Shinbo show, once you take away the zany visual effects and gags, the Maria+Holic storyline has actually been very straightforward and linear. This episode picks up where the last one left off, with everyone preparing for the Virgin Mary cosplay party.

Mariya and Matsurika kick it off by telling Kanako that’s she’s gone off the edge beyond normal people territory and into hentai-land. To prove the point, Mariya puts her moe-ist act on and asks Kanako to lick her foot, which Kanako gladly accepts until Mariya holds her down in an effort to re-educate her. Mariya then tests her again, and Kanako passes grudgingly with a chorus of voices reminding her that Mariya is a trap. This was just a hilarious scene and the trio of chibi Kanako voices had me rolling.

Later as the school prepares for the festival, Ayari has flashbacks to the reason why she hates Mariya. Years ago, when they were little angels preparing for a parade, Mariya was pushed into Ayari, and ended up ripping her clothes straight down her back, revealing Ayari’s Panda Chang panties. Actually, judging by the location of the mole, it looks like it was Shizu who committed the offending act. Either way, once Panda Chang was revealed (and I loved how Ayari/Shizu delivered the line, “Panda… Chang?” and the voice Miyu Matsuki uses for kiddie Ayari), it subjected Ayari to years of panda-related nicknames humiliating her.

Then, while she ponders the memory, she sees Kanako get knocked down by a couple of kids who’d been running wiled. She gets up from her float, but loses her footing and takes a flying spill. Is this the end for Ayari?

No! Luckily for her, Mariya rushes over to catch her while she’s falling and prevent another Virgin Mary Festival tragedy. It’s sort of interesting to see Mariya’s more caring side come out, as it’s clear that she’d (or he’d) prefer to not be enemies with Ayari. Could this be the moment where they become best friends?

Well, again, the answer would be no. It was looking like that for a second, but when Ayari hears Mariya accidentally mutter about how heavy she is. She freaks out and of course, escalates the situation, as the buttons pop off from her robe revealing her “hopes and dreams,” and as Kanako later points out, her frilly pink bra. Ayari’s hopes and dreams take Kanako to a new level of bloodshed as she spray paints the Virgin Mary statue crimson and forever imprints her name into history, creating one of Ame no Kisaki’s seven mysteries: the bloody Virgin Mary statue. I wonder if this episode would ever pass the US censors, like a certain other show.

The cosplay party ends there and we get an early ED, followed by a short second part to the episode, focusing on the seven mysteries of Ame no Kisaki, many of which have to do with Kanako leaving her blood in random places around the school. Like the time she spent an hour bleeding into the school pool, fantasizing about seeing her friends in the school swimsuits. And I agree, Momoi does look best in the swimsuit. Although don’t mention that to yandere-in-waiting Yuzuru.

Turns out nobody in the school knows all seven mysteries, because something terrible will happen to you once you know all of them. Mariya and Matsurika are the only ones who know the seventh mystery. And since Kanako knows the first six… it plays right into Mariya’s plans, as she reveals the final mystery to Kanako, leaving the show with its familiar cliffhanger, God knocking down on Kanako’s door.

I’ll be damned if I let an episode slide without a Matsurika screenshot

Remember what was supposed to happen from last week? I don’t either, and neither does Maria+Holic (something about Kanako’s birthday gift to Yuzuru?). But we’re moving onto bigger and better things. It’s the Virgin Mary Festival time, which to Kanako means all the hot young nubile girls get dressed up in angel gear and go around doing what angels do best. You know… yuri stuff.

There’s something funny about a cosplaying tranny chiding a yuri about acting properly at a missionary school. What would Kanako do without Mariya and Matsurika to keep her in line? Besides dream of all the girls in Ame no Kisaki dressed up as angels.

Mmm… a passionate discussion about the Virgin Mary. Wh-what!? Wait a second.

Give Kanako credit. She never falls out of character, whether she’s losing blood from one thing or the other or getting beat on by Mariya. And she’s a damn great opportunist. Using her ignorance as an opportunity to get close to Hayari’s croissant curls and vice president Natsuru’s, beautiful flowing black locks? That’s so obvious, why didn’t I think of that!? Umm, I’m not sure I understand what this Virgin Mary Festival is either. Natsuru? Hayari?… Mariya? Anyone?

Kanako also seems to be getting bolder, asking for Hayari’s bust size and whether or not she hates Mariya. Perhaps her repression is reaching a boiling point. I think she needs a release. I mean she was thisclose to ravaging Momoi’s loliko angel body right in the middle of the classroom until Yuzuru smacked her in a jealous fit.

It was funny to see loli-Mariya and Shizu mastering their cross dressing craft at a young age (with loli-Matsurika serving them dutifully, even though they apparently haven’t changed her outfit for almost a decade). I thought they only started cross dressing for high school, so I expected Hayari to be in on the secret. It’s interesting that she’s not.

The highlight of the episode was definitely Kanako’s cosplay angel song. Her deviously perverted sounding voice during the song was high hilarity. *fufufufu*

Is Matsurika angry that Kanako hasn’t made a pass at her? Or is SHAFT just saving that for the twist ending when they decide to run off and elope? And where can I find a maid with a killer 3-point shot like Matsurika? Kanako meanwhile, clearly grasps the true meaning of “crisi-tunity” and makes the most of the opportunity by getting upskirt shots of Hayari and Natsuru. Is Kanako the luckiest or the unluckiest yuri in the world? I can see why she’s on the verge of blowing her top. Everywhere she goes her yuri sensibilities are getting teased. Watch out Momoi. You’re the easiest target.

Otherwise, the deeper discussions about religion and praying seemed terribly out of place within this yuri trap show. It was sort of interesting, but somewhat of a drag.

Next week: Asura has broken out of Ame no Kisaki and eaten Yonakuni! Can God and the rest of the Death Scythe trainees save the day!?

Note to self. Don’t invite God to play Clue. She solves all mysteries.

So last week’s underwear thief cliffhanger didn’t end up having much legs, because God came in and solved the mystery within the first minute. When in doubt, it’s always some baka inu going around taking other people’s underwear. (Although when they said underwear last week, I thought they were talking about underwear of the pantsu kind. Walking around without a bra on doesn’t seem as big a deal.) Kanako then assumes the role fo baka inu and steals the underwear anyway. Anything for kicks.

This episode focuses on the previously uninteresting – and still uninteresting – archery club leader, Yuzuru and her jealousy over Momoi and Kiri’s budding yuri friendship.

While the whole Yuzuru subplot wasn’t that funny or interesting, thankfully the Mariya-Matsurika-Kanako interactions were. From Mariya’s abuse of Kanako, to Matsurika’s theories on Yuzuru’s depression, to Kanako’s reverse Sayonara Zetsubou moment, in which she felt happy about graduating up from a “filthy thing” to a “brown rat,” I never get bored with the three of them beating up on each other.

Unfortunately, like I mentioned, the main story was pretty run of the mill. Momoi and Kiri become best friends, Yuzuru gets jealous and depressed. But in the end, it turns out they were just sneaking around because they were trying to find a good birthday gift for Yuzuru and because Kiri’s apparently tsundere for Yuzuru. If you don’t see much room for humor and zany antics, well, you’d be pretty much correct. Oh well, I guess not every episode can be a winner.

Next week? Look forward to Kanako’s big birthday performance!

Kanako asks the tough questions that need to be asked

Remember how I was complaining about not enough Mariya and Matsurika for the past couple weeks? You know how Kanako’s blood loss for the last couple weeks had tapered off? Turns out there was a correlation. So now we got DOUBLE the Mariya and like quintuple the nosebleeds.

It’s physical exam day and Kanako’s worried about how much she’s grown, which leads to a slight fit of insanity and ends with Mariya ordering Matsurika to douse Kanako with gasoline and set her on fire. Why oh why would they pour gasoline on such a chaste yuri girl? Maybe so they could have fun making fun of her height and how she smells. But Kanako’s got a lot on her mind, because she has a job to do. There’s a nurse shortage, and so they need the 2nd year class reps to help with the physical exam. How convenient.

Unfortunately for Kanako, despite all the home remedies she takes, she doesn’t get very far. In fact, she doesn’t even get past Kiri-san getting undressed before she’s buried under a fountain of her own blood and sent to the infirmary. There go her hopes and dreams. With heaven just on the other side of Kanako’s curtain. Lucky for us, we get to be on the other side of that curtain in all of its Hatsune Miku and Ranka Lee glory. And who is that blue haired girl? Ami Kawashima? But then things take a turn for the crazier when Kanako overhears that Mariya is also getting checked out and jumps out of bed and opens the curtain to find Mariya in the nude with natural… well you’ve seen them by now. This puts Kanako into code red. The next nosebleed could be fatal. But what is this devilry? Mariya as a girl?

Turns out Mariya has a twin sister named Shizu. Real deal woman who looks just like Mariya. Except she’s a cross dresser at the all boys school Mihoshi no Mori. Why are these two cross dressing when they could just be going to their appropriately gendered school? Well, it turns out grandma’s wishes, were for the two to cross dress successfully at the high schools for 3 years without being caught by any of the students – the winner gets to be the chairperson. Why do all that? So that they could understand the other gender better when they took over the two schools. Umm, it makes perfect sense… in a sick, twisted anime logic way. Except Matsurika calls them both out for the pervs they are, as they’re both only doing this for fun.

Since Kanako wasn’t a student at the time she found out Mariya was a boy, he’s technically still in the game. But… it’s bad news for Shizu, because now she’s been outed. I loved how they designed and animated the scene where Mariya knows he has Shizu trapped. There was something very Death Note-ish about it. The bold colors, the evil voice, the sinister music, the red eyes. I would’ve swore Yagami Light had possessed Mariya’s body for a second. But Mariya’s a tranny with a big heart, and offers to let Shizu go if she kisses his feet. She shivers, and quivers but rejects Mariya’s bullying and tries to run out of the room in tears with full melodramatic BG to boot. Except she forgot the door was locked. Awesomely moe scene indeed. Kanako also gives us a little sign that she may fall for Mariya and his whole boy thing anyway.

The last couple minutes takes a hilariously dramatic turn when Honoka reveals that her underwear has been stolen from the sick bay. All eyes turn to Kanako when she reveals a detail she shouldn’t know. Will Kanako’s yuri dreams meet a sudden end? Is there another hentai on the loose? Underpants gnomes? I bet it was Lucchini again.

I gotta say I loved this episode. I mean, first of all you got a real deal female Mariya-clone, which makes me feel… better that I have a trap alternative. But we also got to see what I love most about this show, which is Mariya and Matsurika’s totally psycho, sadistic nature. And Kanako got to chip in with little brilliant nuggets (hentai? moe?), at least when she wasn’t gushing blood every 2 seconds. Let’s be honest, Kanako is never going to cut it as a yuri if she’s going to bleed to death before she even gets to first base. By default, I think that raises the Mariya flag.

I’m a little disappointed that Maria+holic has given more of the balance of screen time to Kanako than Mariya/Matsurika, as I think Kanako’s a little too predictable to carry the show for long stretches of time, but this episode made up for it by giving God a lot more action and by mixing in some non-yuri humor.

Shades of Moyashimon flashed through my head when I saw the can of Surströmming.

Oh and was that Mariya in a nurse uniform? *nosebleed*

We get our first glimpse of God’s wrath, when she confiscates the Surströmming can, during a random check and buries it. God’s cat ears, the soulless eyes, the flat, emotionless voice and her dark and foreboding words just cracks me up. Part of me wants to squeeze her like a little teddy bear, while another part of me wants to install her as a leader of some alien invasion task-force.

The first part of the episode focused on Kanako trying to become friends (just friends) with the Nagato-like, Kiri-shan. It was a nice change of pace. While I love yuri humor as much as any other red-blooded guy, there’s only so much you can do with the same joke.

Kanako is voted class rep, and complains about it being troublesome. This triggers a beacon in Kiri’s head to help Kanako out and she volunteers to be the assistant class rep. Since Kiri is helping her so much, Kanako decides that the two should at least become friends. So she enrolls her friends to help her out, because just asking like Mariya suggested would be much too easy. Highlights included:

• Kanako offers to share textbooks with Kiri and ends up pulling out a hilarious yaoi doujin, courtesy of Mariya. Take a look at the pic. I bet SHAFT was giggling like a bunch of schoolgirls when they came up with those titles.
• Ryuuken’s obliviousness to Kiri and Kanako
• The tete-a-tete between Mariya and Shiki, the student council pres… who are apparently cousins. Ooh, big reveal there. Shiki has to know that Mariya’s a guy in hiding. But based on the barbs they traded back in episode 2, maybe not?
• Momoi threatening Kiri to give her some money, Kiri responding “how much?” and Momoi responding “300 yen.” I also loved when Momoi referred to Kiri as Kiri-shan. I don’t know what it is about that suffix, but I’ve dug it ever since I heard Kozu-pii use it in Chaos Head

The second part of the episode was all God. With some Mariya/Matsurika goodness. God goes hunting for contraband. And then scores everyone on how well they hid their stuff. Those who score high enough get to keep their stuff. At the end of the day, everyone got their stuff back with another chance to hide it again. Turns out God likes playing games… and tragic pasts. She doesn’t seem to be so scary. I mean unless she’s threatening to kill you and bury you. Take that away and she’s just the lovable nekomimi of this show.

• Ha. Virtual boy. Tragic past indeed.
• There was something really amusing about Matsurika wiping up the dog’s paw prints, and Mariya watching over her. I think it was just one of those subtle, real-life things that seems so out of place in this batshit crazy SHAFT world
• Speaking of Matsurika, she had like two lines, but they were awesome lines with perfect timing. I seriously can’t get enough of her.
• *sniff* Poor abandoned, tentacle bag. The poor, little guy just needed some more TLC. Oh wait. It’s back.
• LOL @ “copy-rider” and “pasty chef.” I guess Kanako wasn’t prepping for any spelling bee dreams

Kanako loses a lot of blood this episode. But look at who she’s waking up to! Look at her! If that’s not a recipe for anime lust-inspired nosebleeds, I don’t know what is.

Maybe I did, but I didn’t realize offhand that the first three episodes had only covered Kanako’s first two days of school. That’s a heckuva of a first couple days. You get a pretty roommate, the pretty roommate disappears for an even prettier roommate. Except that prettier roommate is a sadistic trap, who’s bent on making your life miserable. But then your relationship with your old roommate, Ryuuken, creates new enemies, who attack you with marine products. And then, your magane classmate, Kiri, comes to your rescue by telling them the two of you are going out. But it’s not over yet. The second yuri harem flag is raised Ryuuken, declares that she’ll protect you too, no matter what. All in the whirlwind first two days.

And then in the third day, all that comes crashing down. You find that your megane lover just said what she said, because she thought it was the best way to defuse the hatred, and considers yuri love an impossibility. Meanwhile, your new bodyguard creates more issues than she solves. You’re getting trampled, everyone’s staring at you, God is making death threats. (I love how Mariya casually comments on this.) Which leads to your now megane non-lover to again spread the story of how the two of you are dating and tells Ryuuken that the bodyguarding thing is cramping their style. And judging by Ryuuken’s response, I don’t think she has a yuri bone in her body either. There goes that flag.

Oh well, but at least you can live a peaceful life now, right? Uh, check that actually. Turns out your enemies are more pissed than ever. Getting the full attention of Ryuuken-sama was just too much for their sanity, and they have plans to unleash the atom bomb of marine product attacks. Damn, that’s rough. Ah, but at least you can still be trampled by the beautiful girl you’re living with. Oh, until you remember you’re allergic to her, because she’s actually a he. And you break out in hives. How’s that line go? “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

There’s an important moral to this story. Too often we see animes treating harems as this unbreakable bond of submission between the harem and its leader. No matter how much of a loser the harem leader may be, the harem will continue to folllow him. But Maria+Holic takes a more realistic view in showing that a harem is a fragile thing that must be cultivated with utmost respect and care. Get too far ahead of yourself, and the harem dream shatters like a porcelain vase. Lesson learned for Kanako.

What does Maria+Holic need more of? More Mariya and Matsurika! It was pretty funny to hear Mariya talk about how s/he dressed like a maid for fanservice, and because she and Matsurika weren’t in the episode too much. And the Matsurika awesome-ness continues in her abuse of both Kanako and her cross-dressing, cosplaying master. So hopefully they get back more to the Maria part of Maria+Holic.

If there was any question about God and her power, I think it was resolved when her death threat had Ryuuken scrambling for her life like a scared little puppy. Speaking of which, there was something hilarious about seeing Ryuuken’s cat slap her dog (nyah! *smack*), and that being the cause of her need to protect people.