Maria+Holic, episode 12 (END) – Oh, the brilliance!

So what’s the best way to end a show starring a nosebleeding, perverted yuri who enters an all-girl school to find the yuri love of her life (and ogle a school full of delicious Betties while she’s at it), and ends up rooming with the most beautiful girl on campus – except that she’s actually a he – and her equally beautiful and irresistible maid, with masochistic tendencies? A pool-centric episode? Every character in a bikini or swimsuit? A wardrobe malfunction? Yes, yes, and yes!

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Oh, how convenient!

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Heart massage? Is that what the kids call it these days?

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Things start out oh so well for Kanako. She’s doing her homework. Preparing herself for the pool opening. Making sure she’s prepared against excess blood loss. Eating her raw liver. And everything seems to turn up Kanako!

  • Fully developed teachers, in their physical prime with new swimsuits? Check.
  • School rules promoting non-school swimsuit? Check.
  • New phys-ed teacher with an androgynous haircut, but with a va-va-voom feminine body? Check.
  • Unnecessary CPR? Check.
  • Mouth to mouth? Check.
  • Everyone wanting a piece of Kanako’s lips? Check.
  • Reality check? Ch- oh crap.

Turns out liver is not meant to be eaten raw. And Kanako’s paid the price. Her delusions merely teases, as she misses almost the whole swim session. But luckily she recovers in time, before the pool closes.

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Oh then the Tchaikovsky Priest visits and gives her hives.

But she recovers in time right?

Yeah, just in time for the mountain product hate group to poison her with delicious mountain foods.

B-b-but she recovers from that in time for the swim season right? Right?

I’m happy to say, yes. Yes, she does. And things are looking Kanako… until she sins and is smited by God.

Son of a…

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But fret not. Because fate intervenes on Kanako’s behalf. And although swim class is over. Turns out there’s a swim meet (!) for Kanako to get her rocks off. Kanako knows that swim meets are prime events for “unexpected” wardrobe malfunctions, fufufu~.

However, Kanako’s trials and tribulations are not at an end. As she’s subject to an overnight session of personality reprogramming. I think the “school swimsuit sucks, loincloth rocks!” chant was the most random and funniest part of the episode.

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Having her lifelong joy ruined by Mariya’s antics, Kanako’s blood boils and she plots revenge against her. But who could dare plot such devious revenge against such a pure, innocent, cute face? I mean look at her!?

One desperate yuri, that’s who.

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Planning to expose Mariya’s sham, Kanako gets more than she bargains for. Say hello to exhibit B. 100% natural. 100% beautiful. 100% not Mariya. It’s funny that Shizu’s first instinct is to scream, drawing attention to herself, rather than quickly and secretly re-cloth herself.

In the end, Kanako got what she wanted. And I got what I wanted. It was a pretty straightforward episode, albeit with the typical SHAFT touch, giving it that little special, demented shine. They stayed true to the core of the show, keeping it light and breezy. And also kept out the inevitable forced drama that seems to pervade every other comedy in its final episodes

Final thoughts on the show to follow…